


New York

by seaofolives



Series: Songs for Brothers [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Post-Credits Scene, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Canon Universe, Character Death Fix, Comics/Movie Crossover, Everybody Lives, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Inspired by Music, Marvel 616 References, Marvel 616/MCU Crossover, Marvel Norse Lore, Marvel Universe, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Canon, Time Travel Fix-It, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 16:30:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15953204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seaofolives/pseuds/seaofolives
Summary: If I last-strawed you on 8th AvenueWhere you’re the only motherfvcker in the cityWho can stand meI have lost a heroI have lost a friendBut for you...I’d do it all again





	New York

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by St. Vincent's [_New York_](https://open.spotify.com/track/5IXTT9RvcVupmzLTFqIInj?si=zRTVlHfoR4i_OnjZP-rPnQ).

With all that he had suffered in the hands of the Avengers since he last paid New York a visit, it was a wonder that he had come back to do it all again. Only this time, he swore, would be different. For instance, he didn’t come with an army—or at least not one that he associated with himself. And there was no plot for world domination this time—in fact, he might even be doing quite the opposite. 

Ironic, though, that he had pretty much achieved the same results; in the aftermath of the battle, from his place high above the yawning, gray wreckage, he could hear every piece of sound ring up to the quiet air with spectacular clarity. The wailing of the sirens, every voice, every shift of rubble. Given, the great city wasn’t…as bad as when he’d left it once…but the clash between Earth’s most recent invaders and her mightiest defenders had still left its mark along the pavement, the skyscraping structures and everything else that had the misfortune of being around during the fight. Of its victims, he could see none—at least no one exposed. If they still lingered, though, they could no longer blame anyone but themselves. He’d tried to save them, diminish the casualties but even gods could only do so much. He could only help those who helped themselves. 

A streak of red, careful in its descent, drew his attention. It was sailing down from one of those hidden avenues this city was so riddled of, to reconvene with his allies on the ground. “ _Any sign of ‘im?_ ” he heard it ask, its face hidden in a helmet. 

“Not from here,” the man in a blue uniform and a shield on his arm replied, approaching the first man’s landing point, shoulders squared perfectly like a true captain. He passed an overturned vehicle, onto which the boy who moved like a spider hopped to gaze up at the skies. “What’s it look like—” 

“Up there!” the boy cried from behind his mask, pointing up to the blank heavens. “Look!” _He_ looked. 

And there he was—amidst the thick layer of clouds, light flashed to herald his return. He came through swinging, smashing the blunt face of his ax onto the crown of his crimson-skinned enemy who flailed uselessly despite the sword he had in his hand. Neither of them looked like they had much control over their gravity but by the looks of it, the red-caped Avenger had a better chance of surviving the fall. Before long, he finally managed to get a hold of himself, throwing down his ax to cleave his nemesis in two, the sword coming up to the defensive at the last minute. The clash of steel sparked with an ethereal light, a spectral flower that seemed only to hasten their descent, cut through any known resistance. 

They crashed with a roaring chorus of air ripped apart, the blast of rainbow devouring and obscuring them when it smashed onto the earth. Before long, its light faded from the air. 

And the victor stood over his enemy, ax blade on his neck, boot on his chest. 

He almost let out a great piercing howl, but he was grinning for all he was worth. It was…about as perfect a painting as any he could think of. A picture waiting to be hung in the champion’s personal solar, for sure. His three friends came pouring into the scene soon after he stepped off, the boy spider shooting off a thick thread from his wrist to stitch a cocoon for the fallen swordsman. “Thought we’d lost you, Thor,” the captain greeted him, clapping him on the arm. 

“Never heard of grand entrances, Rogers?” Thor laughed briefly, scratching at his beard. “You should try it, it’s good for the ego.”

“ _All right, that’s a wrap,_ ” the man in the crimson iron announced, hovering near the moaning villain. “ _Everyone, pack it up. The after-party starts in maybe like, five hours, soon as we get these aliens IDed. Hey, no offense, okay?_ ” He raised his metallic hands to his alien friend. 

Thor smiled. “None taken, human.” A casual quip. “But you all go ahead. I’ll uh…just take a look around.” That made him, the observer, smile a little. 

“Oh don’t worry about it, Mr. Odinson,” the boy said brightly, pulling off his mask to reveal the young face of an Avenger, with all the untainted optimism of an apprentice in the field. “Captain Rogers and I cleaned up a bit before—” 

“ _Kid,_ ” Iron Man cut him off, reaching to him, “ _let the old guy take his walk, come on. You ever heard about respecting your elders?_ ”

“Oh,” the boy said, promptly shutting up. “Okay.”

“ _We’ll meet you back in the HQ,_ ” the suit of iron went on, looking up just as a quinjet materialized in the sky, lowering itself to take its passengers. “ _Steve, why don’t you and he sit down later for a little chat? You know, from one geriatric to another. Are Peter and I actually the only kids in the block?_ ” he asked the ruined city suddenly, arms out like a professional thespian. 

“You’re gonna get it later, Tony,” Rogers laughed while Thor dipped his head and shook it. They left the bound alien for their other comrades to take care of. 

“ _What’re you gonna do, Great Gramps?_ ” Tony replied in a playful challenge. “ _Clip me in the ear, hit me with your cane? C’mon, Pete, don’t just stand there smiling. Help the missing link up the ramp._ ”

Steve warned him with a finger despite the cheeky smile on his face while the young Peter, chewing off his own grin, waited on him. As soon as the ramp was clear, they headed up themselves. 

“Thank you, Stark,” Thor said to his friend when they had gone in, voice low, a fond hand on his shoulder. 

“ _Listen, I’m just gonna pretend that I don’t know what you’re gonna do._ ” Tony Stark turned to face the Thunderer. “ _Okay? Do whatever you want but just take care of yourself. You don’t have to put up with this. If you’re tired just…_ ” He threw his hands up. “ _Cut him off. Okay? You don’t need that toxicity in your life._ ”

Thor smiled at him. “Let me know how that works out for you.”

“ _Well, fine,_ ” Stark said, stepping back. “ _You got me there. But seriously,_ ” he persisted. Thor nodded, clapping him on the shoulder to send him off. 

Thor stood back as the ramp rose, sealing the quinjet’s belly as it took off. Gray dust floated after the backwash. 

He’d barely waited for the air to clear before he swung his great ax, flinging it up to the skies to summon the rainbow bridge to himself. And that was that—the show was over. 

Alone now, the last audience to leave the theater, he stood back from the ledge, making his way to the steel door leading to the stairwell down, green cape fluttering in the wind with his movements. But he’d barely taken more than a few slow steps before the same spectral light had come crashing onto the dull concrete, barring his progress. Habit took over in an instant; hands up, he started walking back, away from the man marching out of the spectacle, eyes flashing, growling, “ _Loki!_ ” 

“Why, fancy meeting you here, brother! It’s been a long time,” he quipped, even as the frowning Thunderer advanced with a dark look. “Did you do something with your hair? Maybe your eyebrows?”

“Shut up!” A thick hand caught him by the column of his neck. 

And smashed him to the wall of the neighboring building, the impact echoing loudly with a crack. By all means, these kinds of meetings were nothing short of unfamiliar but that didn’t make them any less painful. Loki tried to swallow his groan, his back ringing stiff from the collision, but it was a troublesome task with a hand around your neck. Easier, at least, was to laugh. 

“I just wanted to see you again,” he said to his tormentor with a lopsided grin. 

“Then learn to send a text!” Thor barked, baring his teeth. 

“Oh you don’t think I have?” Loki eyed him innocently. “Perhaps if you actually looked at your phone, you wouldn’t be making these assumptions. Besides, how is it that you think your precious humans are missing in action?” Now it was Thor’s turn to laugh. 

“You think I would believe something as terrible as that?” he asked, smiling handsomely as if at his joke though the threat was still very much present around Loki’s neck. “I’ve heard better.”

“You used to be smarter.”

“No, I used to be a fool,” Thor snarled, glaring closely at him, pressing harder. Loki choked though he didn’t struggle. This was different from the last time someone had tried to snap his neck and truth be told, he trusted this brutal hand more than he would trust himself. “But now I know better than to fall for your lies and my blind hopes. Say what you will but I know it was you who brought the world eaters to this city. No one else would know where to find the Ano-athox!”

“They were coming, anyway.”

“The Ano-athox isn’t a race you can just play with, Loki, they are devourers of dimensions!” Thor snapped, pointing at the absent people behind him. “Realities, universes! By leading them here, you’ve just shown them where they can find more realms to consume.”

“And where would that leave me?” Loki challenged him. Thor’s gesticulations had loosened his grip. “Assuming we’re still talking about my unquenchable ambitions. A king with no kingdom is merely a daydreamer and I’ve long since stopped dreaming, twiddling my fingers until the Norns align with my plans. Why else would I have stepped in and brought the Ano-athox here in New York—right under the Avengers’ noses, where they could be quashed the minute they stepped foot?” He kept his eyes on his brother, green to blue and brown. “If I were still playing some old nefarious game of mischief and revenge, then I think there would have been no reason for me to intercept them when they were already bound for Broxton. Oklahoma. Yes—dear Asgardia.” He smiled fondly at the thought of it, even as Thor frowned at the thought of what could have been. “Our little home away from home.”

“Not your home,” Thor muttered, leaving him by the wall as he marched off, pacing as if to consider this new discovery. Back turned. 

The sight of which made Loki frown, though he could feel the relief of his freed neck pulsing in his chest. It was not enough. He despised this side of his brother’s! Loki followed, stepping slowly, appealing, as it were, to those uncaring shoulders, “I was a child of Asgard, too!” His voice echoed in the silence. 

“Oh you misunderstand, Loki,” Thor turned to face his frown, voice rumbling low like thunder, “if you think your exile is because of your true parentage. But in the eyes of our people, you are dead.” He smiled. “So I thought I’d support you for once by actually letting you have your way.”

And so there it was—the truth laid bare. For months since the end of the Infinity War, he had tried to arrange what he had hoped was a touching reunion between himself and his brother, only to face Thor’s silence, as he had never had his whole life. It was stunning to say the least…and generously, he had tried to give him time, to come to terms perhaps with the myriad of trauma he had had to face on his own. But he was taking too long…and Loki was beginning to fear the silence, and the meaning behind it. 

Now he stared at his brother in incredulity, his suspicions finally confirmed. “You would punish me for faking my deaths?!”

“Am I?” Thor crossed his arms. “But I thought this was what you wanted—the freedom to die as many times as you like, and to lie as many times as you like. Only this time with no strings attached—since you seem to hate sentiments so much.”

The laughter came as a surprise to Loki, a brief moment of stunned bemusement before he glared at his brother’s immovable gaze. “And here I thought you’ve finally, truly come to see me for who I am. Only to find out that you still don’t know what I’m talking about. And you still don’t listen to what I say!” 

“Oh come on, Loki, let’s not lie to each other.” Thor gave him a funny look, unperturbed. Curse this, why is he so stubborn with his disaffection?! His brother was always angry, and wild like fire—but never so quiet and cool like smothered embers. He didn’t know this stranger, who looked at him with achingly familiar eyes, and he hated more that he couldn’t reach through them, not anymore. He did not like this. He did not like this face of Thor’s, this sick feeling in his gut, not one bit. 

The stranger threw a hand to him. “Isn’t this what you’ve wanted all along?” he asked him. “Your life and your freedom. And for the first time, finally, there’s no one here to stop you, no one who’s going to tell you no!” And that stung, more than he cared to admit. 

Loki flinched. “Are you really so obtuse, Thor?” he hissed, glaring at him in desperate retaliation. “You claim generosity and yet you reject the spirit of it!” 

“Fine, then!” Thor burst, throwing up his hands. “Be plain with it, what is it that you want?” But the tragedy was that Loki couldn’t—and Thor knew this. He knew that for all his talents with words, he was never skilled with being painfully truthful. 

That he couldn’t then admit, that without his brother’s shade in his life, nothing was ever the same anymore. All his ambitions, all his triumphs, they may as well just be ashes now. Perhaps, once, his wants and needs had been just as Thor had said, but that was before his golden light had gone cold, turning everything bleak and gray. And now, because of those very ambitions, it seemed as if he had completely lost him—his only family and the only one that ever mattered. 

So what does he do to rekindle the old fire? He repeats old crimes which had once worked, creates him invitations, causes he could not refuse just so he could see him again. So Thor would come thundering down, bellowing, striking with his hammer and his lightning as he always had. As Loki had always known him for. If Thor would not come by his own will, and he could not come to him, then he would bring him over instead. 

But he was the Prince of Lies, who must speak in riddles. Even when they no longer hold the same power anymore. Or the same protection. 

Nothing was the same anymore. His brother the God of Thunder was as glorious as ever, but his majesty was no longer his to behold. 

“Let me come home,” he said, then. 

“Come on, Loki, you know more words than that,” Thor quipped. 

“You know, I never thought it possible that I’d finally see the day you become just like our father: a hypocrite,” Loki jabbed at him, voice even despite the frown that darkened his face and the glare that Thor burned him with, filling him with a poisonous delight which he could never seem to tire of. “If a duck flies up to Asgard and quacks, will you punish it for acting to its nature? You used to be smarter than this, you never used to care about this!” 

“I’ve changed,” Thor growled. 

“So have I!” Loki retorted, staring widely. “You always insisted that I could do better, why does it make you uncomfortable when I do finally become it?” A warning finger was raised to him. Loki didn’t stop. “I betrayed Thanos for you!” he cried, voice almost breaking. “When it would have been most advantageous for me to wear his colors!” 

“Most advantageous?” Thor chuckled. “That’s a funny thing to hear from you. Are you sure you didn’t weigh the consequences before you played your hand?” The way he accused him, Thor may as well have gutted him with his very own ax. That would at least hurt less than the truth. 

Loki winced, tried to swallow it. He persisted again. “I sacrificed—!” 

“You made a calculated move,” Thor corrected him, finger up again. “That’s not the same.”

But how was it so different? Loki couldn’t see; he took a risk, he took a risk _for Thor_ , was that not deserving of acceptance and forgiveness? 

In the place of his silence, Thor spoke his piece, his voice low, “I thank you for your sacrifice, and your place in ending the Infinity War. Now I pray you find the peace to move on from the past, and maybe even reflect on your actions.” His eyes wandered briefly to the skies. “As we must all.” Those last words had come through under Thor’s breath, and so surprised Loki that he found himself straining to hear them from the wind again. 

But then Thor was nodding to him, and turning round, and marching off. Loki only realized what he was doing when he had already covered half the span towards the ledge and he was left to stumble after him, appealing to him, “Wait. You shouldn’t have to go so soon! Please hear me out, there are more things I wish to say…Thor, _wait_ —!”

But he’d already raised his ax, summoning the spectral beam into existence. The wind shattered with the burst of light. Loki ran. 

Yet still he missed him, finding only the empty spot he once filled, marked now by the bifrost’s incantations, and his disappointment. 

It was…a familiar companion…though one that was not wanted. Like a pestering animal he always tried to lead astray but kept coming back. Still, that didn’t mean he knew how to deal with it with finesse; he became mindful of his breathing, cleared his throat, raked up his hair and raised his chin as a sign of defiance, even against himself. Without Thor’s largeness, he suddenly couldn’t recognize this dreary place, or indeed, his place in the whole cosmos. For whatever it was worth, though, he at least had the whole of eternity for that. 

For whatever it was worth. 

He closed his eyes, unable to imagine an eternity like this. Alone, cast off, without even a shred of a damn from his brother. _His brother._ Too much—even gods could only take so much. 

It seemed much better, then, to just…disappear.


End file.
